This is article, written by Jessica Pietsek, was originally published by The Baptist Standard as a part of their Voices series, which in March, will feature a weekly article by a woman in ministry. The original article can be found here. We appreciate the editor, Eric Black, asking TXBWM to help with this series.
by: Jessica Pietsek
The hardest part of being a woman in ministry isn’t the work itself. It’s knowing no matter how much you contribute, you may never be truly seen.
The first word that comes to mind when I think about my time in ministry is invisible.
The night we buried my father, I stood in front of our church body, leading a ministry fundraising event as if my world hadn’t just shattered. I never had felt immobilized by emotion before that day.
That afternoon, I wept, the weight of grief pressing against my chest so heavily it felt impossible to stand, let alone fulfill my responsibilities. But I did. Because I had to. Saying “no” wasn’t an option. Asking for help would have made me look weak, incapable. And in ministry, especially as a woman, weakness is not tolerated.
Women in ministry often bear an unseen weight, as they are expected to keep going no matter the cost. Even in the midst of profound grief, there was no space for me to step back, to process, to breathe.
I had given so much of myself to the church, and yet, when I needed something in return—time to mourn, time to heal—there was nothing. No recognition of my need, no space to rest.
Even later, when I sought wisdom from the lead pastor on how to navigate my healing, he had nothing to offer.
The burden of being a woman in ministry
As I reflect on the role of women in ministry, I am reminded of the monumental impact women had during Jesus’ ministry. They were instrumental in advancing the kingdom, yet today, even in the 21st century, women often are given a backseat when it comes to leadership, influence and recognition.
I felt this firsthand. I stepped into ministry eager to make a difference, believing my gifts, my leadership and my commitment would be valued.
I took on responsibilities that carried deep theological and pastoral weight guiding new believers through baptism, welcoming and discipling those who walked through the church doors for the first time, ensuring the integrity of ministry processes. I devoted myself to the work of the church, leaving a nonprofit ministry of 15 years to pursue my calling more fully.
But no matter how much I gave, I still was limited. I had to defend my role on multiple occasions.
My pay was lower because my title wasn’t pastoral. My contributions were rarely, if ever, acknowledged. Every ounce of effort I poured into the church was taken, but when I needed time to grieve, time to recover from the immense personal loss of my parents, it was not given.
A culture that needs to change
This is not just my story. It is the reality for many women in ministry. The expectation to be endlessly available, to bear the emotional and spiritual burdens of others while suppressing our own, is ingrained in church culture.
Men in leadership, while often expected to be reserved emotionally, rarely are penalized for needing time or space. Many are offered sabbaticals on a regular basis. But for women, the moment we acknowledge our own needs, we risk being seen as incapable. The church preaches grace and rest, yet often denies it to those who serve within it.
So, what do we do?
For church leadership, this means reevaluating the way women in ministry are supported. It means recognizing the toll of emotional and spiritual labor and ensuring women have space to rest, grieve and set boundaries without fear of losing credibility. It means weaving in a cycle of rest for those who serve.
For women in ministry, it means unlearning the belief that our worth is tied to our ability to push through exhaustion and pain. It means advocating for ourselves and refusing to let the fear of perception keep us from taking the rest we deserve. It means pursuing wholeness in our body, mind and spirit, so we lead in the fullness of our design.
For the church as a whole, it means creating a culture where both men and women in leadership can express their emotions, where grief is not seen as weakness, and where the contributions of women are not just acknowledged, but truly valued.
It means every person stepping up as part of the body of Christ, because the service of the church is too burdensome to rest on the shoulders of a few.
Ministry is not just about serving others. It’s about recognizing the humanity in those who serve. Until the church embraces that truth, women in ministry will continue to bear an invisible impact—seen only when it is convenient, felt only when they are absent.
Jessica Pietsek is a former minister and founder of Rhythm 2 Wellness, a Christ-centered coaching practice focused on breathwork, life coaching and trauma-informed healing. She is passionate about helping women find restoration and wholeness by integrating mind, body and spirit in alignment with their faith.
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